A helping hand does not guarantee lasting gratitude

A Punch opinion article has questioned whether some young people fail to show gratitude to those who support them, recounting several personal experiences involving assistance with education, employment and relationships. The writer describes supporting the daughter of a deceased childhood acquaintance. She said she sent the girl money and clothes, maintained contact and discussed possible university education or fashion training with her.

According to the writer, the young woman often disappeared from WhatsApp and reappeared mainly after receiving pocket money. She later learned from an uncle that the woman was getting married, but said she was not invited. The woman subsequently contacted her in 2024, saying she had been through “a lot”.

The writer said she responded angrily before accepting an apology, but concluded that she no longer had the strength to carry burdens that were not hers. She argued that people should not ignore those who supported them during better times and then return only when they need help. The article also recounts two other examples.

In one, the writer said she helped arrange a marriage with an acquaintance in the United States, but heard nothing from the woman during more than six years of marriage. The woman contacted her after the marriage ended and she returned to Nigeria. In another case, the writer said she helped a young woman obtain employment through the woman’s mother, but received no thanks until confronting her at a public function.

The woman apologised and later blocked the writer on WhatsApp. The writer linked these experiences to what she described as attitudes of entitlement and urged young people to show appreciation, maintain respectful relationships and avoid relying on former benefactors only during personal crises.