Parents urged to make room for honest conversations with teenagers

Parents should create safe and open channels of communication with teenagers instead of relying mainly on punishment, lectures and rigid authority, according to advice published by Punch. The article says adolescence brings greater independence, stronger friendships and decisions made with less direct supervision. It adds that many teenagers hesitate to discuss identity, relationships and future careers because they fear criticism, shouting or punishment at home.

Tobi Sanya, a teenage educator and advocate, said parenting could not depend on intimidation alone. She urged parents to listen actively, validate their children’s feelings and avoid shaming or ending conversations because a subject is uncomfortable. Friendships are one area the article recommends discussing directly.

Rather than simply banning particular friends, parents can explain the qualities of healthy relationships, including respect, trust, boundaries and mutual support. Conversations about romantic relationships should address pressure, control and respect. The article also highlights online safety.

It says teenagers are exposed to displays of wealth and success on platforms including TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, X and Snapchat. Sanya recommends asking what online content makes children feel pressured and how they decide whether information is genuine. She also advises parents to discuss requests for private images or personal information.

Academic expectations are another suggested topic. Psychologist Maria Davies says children’s worth should not be measured by examination results. She recommends asking what is worrying them and watching for withdrawal, changed sleeping patterns or unexplained sadness.

Davies also advises age-appropriate conversations about sex, bodily autonomy and consent. She says teenagers should understand that “no” is absolute and that manipulation is not affection. On peer pressure, she argues that children taught only to fear parental anger may become better at hiding mistakes rather than developing personal judgment.